


Egg Practice

by number_one_dad



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Basically all of Karasuno and Aoba Jousai, It's a wild ride, Other, all of them - Freeform, everyone can lay eggs, they're all birds, why did I write this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-21
Updated: 2015-02-21
Packaged: 2018-03-14 08:50:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,288
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3404549
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/number_one_dad/pseuds/number_one_dad
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An AU where everyone is a bird, and instead of volleyball, they participate in competitive egg-laying tournaments. This is the first practice match Karasuno has with Aoba Jousai, and Hinata's both nervous and excited to compete.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Egg Practice

Hinata was a little bit nervous. 

It was natural to be nervous for his first match with another team, even if it was just a practice match. But he couldn't help his stomach flipflopping as he ruffled his feathers, looking at his teammates around him.

Kageyama was looking straight ahead at the opposing team. If he was nervous, he wasn't showing it. Tanaka was staring at Seijou too, his feathers all puffed up. Hinata made eye contact with Daichi, who gave him a reassuring smile (can birds smile with beaks?). He grinned back, and returned his gaze straight ahead.

He stared ahead, lifting his feathers up a bit in an attempt to calm down. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the referee get into position. He relaxed all his muscles, preparing for the beginning of the match.

As the whistle blew, everyone began shitting eggs at maximum velocity.

There were cheers from their teammates on the sidelines, urging them on. But even those cheers faded into background noise, as Hinata focused only on pumping out as many eggs as possible before the time ran out. his butt muscles undulated, doing their best to push out the egg quickly without breaking it. Hinata began to feel tired, but he forced himself on, determined to win. On the other side of the net, the Aoba Jousai team was trying just as hard to lay their eggs. Iwaizumi's feathers puffed up a bit more with each egg, until he looked like a giant black ball of fluff with eggs falling out periodically.

One of Kageyama's eggs rolled into Hinata's field of vision, and his next egg popped out fluidly with surprise. What a perfect egg. Hinata was a little bit jealous, but he also knew that Kageyama couldn't lay as many as the others due to the concentration required to make eggs as perfect as those. Inspired by that, Hinata returned to his egg-laying with a renewed passion.

The referee blew the whistle for time, and everyone relaxed. Hinata breathed a deep sigh of relief, moving off the court as the egg collectors flew in to grab the results of their match. He looked over at Kageyama, who was also staring at him.

"That was a great first round, everyone!" Suga's chirps broke through the post-match fog, cheering everyone up. 

"Hell yeah!" Nishinoya chimed in, fluttering around wildly. "Did you see how fast those eggs were coming out? That was great!"

"Thanks, Noya-senpai!" Hinata chirped back, flushed with pride. Noya laughed, slapping a wing to Hinata's back. Hinata turned to Kageyama, who was pecking at some of the refreshments Kiyoko had brought for them. "You too, Kageyama! I saw one of your eggs, and it was amazing!"

"Th....thanks," Kageyama said, surprised and a little embarrassed. "You too."

There was a little more idle chatter before the whistle sounded for the end of break and the start of the second round. The Karasuno birds moved into defensive formation, their protector Nishinoya hovering close to the main egg-layers Daichi, Tanaka, Ennoshita, and Kageyama, with middle blockers Hinata and Tsukishima crowding close by as well. Hinata glared at the Seijou players, who were also in their formation. The whistle blew, and the second match started.

Hinata immediately darted out, only to be met with Seijou's egg protector, Shinji Watari. He zigged and zagged to get through, dropping into the middle of the egg-laying circle to peck as many eggs as possible before getting thrown out. He rushed back to his team's side, just in time to body slam himself into Iwaizumi. The latter dipped and awkwardly fell to the ground, before getting up and flying back to protect his own team's eggs.

Recovering from the bodyslam, Hinata saw one of Kageyama's perfect eggs roll past Nishinoya's defense, and an Aoba Jousai smasher headed towards it. "OH NO YOU WON'T!!!!" he screamed, launching himself into the smasher's way. He flapped his wings wildly, taking them out of the egg's way. Success! Nishinoya raced out and returned the egg to the center of the laying circle.

Shortly afterwards, the whistle blew for the end of the second round. The remains of shattered eggs littered the court, yolks and albumen mixing together. Both teams flew off, letting the egg collectors and court cleaners do their job.

The Karasuno team was chatting wildly when they heard a commotion from the other side of the gym. A group of teenage birds were screeching loudly from the sidelines, and a new player seemed to be in their midst. Glancing over, Kageyama narrowed his eyes, puffing himself up menacingly. "Oikawa..."

"Eh?" Hinata asked, hopping closer.

"Don't be such a dumbass," Iwaizumi cheeped angrily.

"Sorry, sorry! Don't worry though, Iwa-chan, it's all good now!" Oikawa waggled his tail feathers happily. "With me back, we'll be sure to win!"

"Hmph," grumbled Iwaizumi, though he did look slightly placated. "Watch yourself though."

"Iwaizumi's right." Their coach cut through the conversation. "Be more careful Oikawa, alright? We can't afford to have you off the courts again this season."

"Right, sir!" 

Back on the Karasuno side, Nishinoya was gobbling up birdseed. "Slow down, Nishinoya-senpai!" said Yamaguchi. Nishinoya just laughed before shoving more seed down his throat.

"Defending takes energy, Yamaguchi! I'll be fine!"

When the final round began, Seijou was at full power. Oikawa blasted out eggs like nobody's business, almost all of them perfectly shaped, with beautiful designs on their shells. But Kageyama was also doing his best, pretty designs all over his shells too, albeit less intricate than Oikawa's. 

Hinata zipped around the court, one minute smashing eggs, the next racing back to defend his own team's eggs from destruction. He was caught up in the thrill of the match. Tsukishima, too, was doing a good job, making good use of his large stature to block the other team's smashers. Tanaka cheered them on as eggs dropped out of his ass at warp speed, almost taking off with the force of his flapping. Suga layed his eggs a bit slower than the others, but they came out beautifully crafted, his butt having basically become an organic 3D artwork printer. Daichi's eggs were strong and sturdy, resisting the faster, lighter pecks of their opponents. Noya, though he didn't lay eggs, being a protector, darted around to prevent attacks with the ease of a natural.

On Seijou's side of the court, eggs were spilling out everywhere. Kunimi, though he appeared to be unmotivated at first glance, was now shitting out eggs faster than you could say "eggs". Kindaichi was doing the same, albeit a bit more aggressively, sometimes accidentally cracking his own eggs. He still had a lot to learn.

Hinata had just fallen to the ground with Iwaizumi in a ball of feathers and fury when the whistle for the end of the round blew. Both teams reluctantly went off the court, waiting for the counters to count up the numbers, and judges to finish reviewing the egg qualities. Though each side appeared to be light-hearted, the tension in the air was certainly strong.

Finally, the results came out. By sheer numbers, Karasuno had won by a thin margin. However, when it came to quality...

"I guess you'll have to try harder next time, Tobio-chan!" Oikawa waggled his tail feathers, falling over when Iwaizumi thrust a wing into his face.

"Don't be rude, Asskawa."

The two teams lined up to face each other, bowing. "Thank you for the game!" rang out through the gymnasium.

In the end, Seijou had won their practice match, thanks to Oikawa's beautiful eggs, but also their strong teamwork skills. But Hinata knew that they would beat Aoba Jousai and the fearsome Grand King, Oikawa Tooru, someday!

**Author's Note:**

> I'd like to apologize to my mother, to my friends, to Obama, to the world, for writing this. 
> 
> basically the first round they just lay eggs but the second and third rounds they have to lay eggs while trying to destroy the other team's eggs, while still keeping their own eggs safe and sound. How can they lay so many eggs? who even knows. god is dead. babies are crying. there will not be a sequel.


End file.
